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Grief on the Road to Emmaus

A Monastic Approach to Journeying with the Bereaved

Grief on the Road to Emmaus

A Monastic Approach to Journeying with the Bereaved

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Paperback / softback

£23.99

Publisher: Liturgical Press
ISBN: 9780814668047
Number of Pages: 344
Published: 31/03/2023
Width: 14 cm
Height: 21.6 cm

In Grief on the Road to Emmaus, experienced bereavement author and facilitatorBeth Hewettoffers help for people interested in walking with those who grieve and supporting their mourning. Using the story of the bereaved disciples walking with Jesus to Emmaus and personal grief vignettes, this message is grounded in Benedictine monastic values that emphasize love, mutuality, hospitality, listening, prayer, humility, action, and community. This readable guide introduces a ministry of consolation, complete with facilitator skills, practices, and strategies for healing to assist readers to accompany the bereaved compassionately, leading each other to hope after loss.

Contents

Acknowledgments   xi
Preface   xiii
Introduction   1
   A Ministry of Presence   5
   Accompanying the Bereaved   8
   Ministering to the Masses   11
   Monastic Values for Bereavement Care   14
   Invitation to Work Together   17
   Outline of the Book   18

CHAPTER ONE
Love Other People   23
   Love and Grief   24
   Grief and Mourning   26
   Self-Love and Our Personal Griefs   39
   Loving Ourselves Healthfully   40
   Exercise 1: Personal Grief Stories   43
   Exercise 2: My Bereavement Map   44
   Exercise 3: Grief and Loss Self-Care Checklist   45
   Conclusion   46

CHAPTER TWO
Mutuality Sees Humanity   51
   Interpersonal Regard   53
   Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   57 
   Exercise: Self-Reflections on Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   59
   ATTEND Model for Mindfulness-Based Bereavement Care   70
   Conclusion   74

CHAPTER THREE
Hospitality Makes Space   77
   A Monastic Place of Respite   78
   Providing a Holding Environment and Container   82
   Providing Loving Boundaries   87
   Conclusion   101

CHAPTER FOUR
Listening Is Sacred   105
   Listening through Silence   107
   Listening to Hear versus Listening to Respond   115
   Exercise: Responsive Listening   125
   Listening Mindfully through Story   126
   Mindful Use of Language   144
   Conclusion   146

CHAPTER FIVE
Prayer Seeks Hope   149
   Prayer and Hope   151
   What Hopeful Prayer Looks Like   158
   Strategies for Praying Hopefully   170
   Conclusion   180

CHAPTER SIX
Humility Knows Its Place 183
   Humility   185
   Grief and Trauma   187 
   Grief and Mental Health   202
   Ethics and Bereavement Facilitation   216
   Exercise: Writing a Code of Conduct   222
   Conclusion   224

CHAPTER SEVEN
Action Expresses Love   229
   Action, or Good Works, as a Vehicle for Love   231
   The Importance of Symbols for Action   232
   Universal Symbols   234
   Using Symbols for Mourning   238
   Symbolism for Death and Bereavement as Specific Life Phases   242
   The Catholic Funeral as Symbolic Action   243
   Assisting the Bereaved Sensitively   254
   Employing Other Sacred Grief Ceremonies and Rituals   257
   Conclusion   268

CHAPTER EIGHT
Community Recreates Humanity   273
   Community within the Ministry of Consolation Team   275
   Community through Grief Support Groups   283
   Community among Other Bereavement Support Organizations   303
   Conclusion   308

CONCLUSION
We Return to Love   311
Index   314

Beth L Hewett

Beth L. Hewett, PhD, CT, CCISM, CEOLS, is an experienced bereavement facilitator, facilitator trainer, Benedictine oblate, and author. She supports individuals and groups in coping with trauma and grief, focusing on mindful mourning and the intention of finding hope. Dr. Hewett is a Certified Thanatologist and a Certified Critical Incident Stress Management Specialist. Her work includes grief-focused articles and such books as Supporting a Grieving Workforce, Good Words: Memorializing through a Eulogy, and More Good Words: Practical Activities for Mourning. Learn more about Dr. Hewett and find information on her bereavement facilitator training and grief ministry workshops at www.goodwordsforgrieving.com/.

"Grief on the Road to Emmaus taps directly into that time-tested approach to seeking God in community to give perspective to ministers of consolation, bereavement facilitators, and anyone who is called upon to accompany people grieving any significant loss, the hurting and the traumatized, the hopeless and the rudderless." Linda Romey, OSB, Benedictine Sisters of Erie, Pennsylvania, Contributor, Global Sisters Report "Beth Hewett explains how core Benedictine values of love, mutuality, hospitality, listening, prayer, humility, action, and community serve as a basis for accompaniment and grief counseling. The book, which includes narratives as well as simple and effective personal exercises, is a wise and practical guide, which could help anyone working pastorally in roles where listening is important. Directed to the practitioner, the author writes beautifully and honestly of her own experience and self-work with bereavement. Full of insight into the experience of the valley of the shadow of darkness she shows how we can walk gently with suffering and make it a journey of faith, hope, and love." Dom David Foster, OSB, Benedictine community of St. Gregory's, Downside Abbey "Drawing on her years of experience as a bereavement minister and educator, Beth Hewett offers readers a gentle approach to bereavement ministry that echoes Pope Francis's call to accompaniment. Her book is both detailed and practical. Indeed, it is a great handbook for anyone involved in this ministry." Edward P. Herrera, Executive Director, Institute for Evangelization, Archdiocese of Baltimore "Grief and mourning come to everyone. In that sense, grief and mourning are normal. The dominant American culture, which shows a marked aversion to pain, sadness, mourning and loss, can leave those who would offer support to these folks floundering for ways to help. Beth Hewett offers a guide for ministers of consolation, who above all offer a ministry of presence to those struggling with grief and mourning. Using a monastic framework as a platform, she offers paths forward into the liminal space that grief and mourning create, so that through embracing their pain and loss, those who mourn are not only comforted, but also can be transformed. An important guide for anyone seeking to support those facing loss, pain, sorrow, and brokenness." The Reverend Cathy Gumpert, pastor and chaplain "While coming from an ecumenical viewpoint, Grief on the Road to Emmaus is a valuable guide for any practitioner supporting the bereaved. This book is rich with information about expected grief, is supported by relevant theories and up-to-date research and illustrates how one can compassionately and lovingly companion those who are grieving." Dawn Tippett, LCSW-C, CT, Clinical Grief Counselor, Gilchrist "Grief on the Road to Emmaus is a sensitive and practical guide for providers of bereavement support. Through storytelling, knowledge, experience and self-guided activities, Hewett provides the reader with a strong understanding of the multiple aspects of grief work. Regardless of one's level of experience in the bereavement field, there is much to be gained from Hewett's unique perspective on how to attend to the needs of those who are grieving." Sue Pahl, M.S.W., M. Ed., LCSW-C, President, The Workplace Trauma Center "If you provide grief support or have a consolation ministry, it is worth your time to pick up a copy of Grief on the Road to Emmaus." Paul Brustowicz, docent at Mepkin Abbey, Moncks Corner, South Carolina